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drusillas_rain at 11:25am on 12/01/2010 under book rec: business non-fiction, flist love, rl, thoughts on friendship
drusillas_rain at 11:25am on 12/01/2010 under book rec: business non-fiction, flist love, rl, thoughts on friendshipI'm reading "Never Eat Alone" by Keith Ferrazzi. It's a book about networking and making friends without being a jerk, and I really think it should be mandatory reading for everyone, whether extrovert or introvert.
The chapter on smalltalk discusses personal vulnerability when meeting someone new, and how revealing something about yourself (e.g. you're not totally on the ball because your gf just dumped you earlier that day) to the other person can help forge a friendship, rather than just talking about the weather and oh, here's my card.
It reminded me of fandom and of lj/my flist specifically, especially compared to say facebook. On fb I have only people that I know IRL. People I go clubbing with, old coworkers, people I used to go to school with, family members, etc. And yet, the posts are very shallow. Compare this to lj, where regularly we reveal things about one another and leave ourselves vulnerable. We post our creations, whether fic or art. We do memes (like the countdown meme going around) where we talk about our thoughts and insecurities. We share our hopes and dreams and fears. And I think this is why I feel so much closer to those of you I've never met, and probably never will unless the gods of travel make it so.
We're open to being vulnerable to one another. Yes, sometimes through flocked posts and filters, but there is an intimacy created through that shared vulnerability that I don't find matched in my RL friends (with some exceptions).
And this is exactly why I keep coming back to lj and fandom, even when I'm busy and stressed and not really in the mood to read/write fanfic. It's also why when I practice my Oscar/Nobel/Pulitzer/Queen-of-everything speech, you guys are up there with my spouse and dogs and family. You're all awesome.
<3
The chapter on smalltalk discusses personal vulnerability when meeting someone new, and how revealing something about yourself (e.g. you're not totally on the ball because your gf just dumped you earlier that day) to the other person can help forge a friendship, rather than just talking about the weather and oh, here's my card.
It reminded me of fandom and of lj/my flist specifically, especially compared to say facebook. On fb I have only people that I know IRL. People I go clubbing with, old coworkers, people I used to go to school with, family members, etc. And yet, the posts are very shallow. Compare this to lj, where regularly we reveal things about one another and leave ourselves vulnerable. We post our creations, whether fic or art. We do memes (like the countdown meme going around) where we talk about our thoughts and insecurities. We share our hopes and dreams and fears. And I think this is why I feel so much closer to those of you I've never met, and probably never will unless the gods of travel make it so.
We're open to being vulnerable to one another. Yes, sometimes through flocked posts and filters, but there is an intimacy created through that shared vulnerability that I don't find matched in my RL friends (with some exceptions).
And this is exactly why I keep coming back to lj and fandom, even when I'm busy and stressed and not really in the mood to read/write fanfic. It's also why when I practice my Oscar/Nobel/Pulitzer/Queen-of-everything speech, you guys are up there with my spouse and dogs and family. You're all awesome.
<3
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